Original Manuscript Diary Man with Addiction to Prescription Drugs Dexamyl 1975
Original Manuscript Diary Man with Addiction to Prescription Drugs Dexamyl 1975


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Ships free via USPS to the U.S.A. Please don’t hesitate with questions and thanks for looking. [Manuscripts] : [Drugs].Tempe, Arizona: (1975)8 1/2″ x 5 1/2″ commercial daily diary. Black vinyl over flexible card wrappers with “1975 / YEAR BOOK” stamped in gilt to front. Blank ruled leaves for each day of the year with entries to about 2/3 of them in an ink holograph cursive. Textblock separated from wrappers. Front wrapper hinge split and with a preliminary repair in archival tape. Entries typically highly legible. Overall good.A manuscript diary for 1975 recording daily entries by a Bill Haase of Tempe, Arizona. According to our ancestral sleuthing, he seems to have been born on Long Island in 1932, moved to Arizona in 1972, and died in 1994. He lived in an apartment in Tempe with his brother Jim for the duration of the volume here and dated a single mother of two named Dorothy. He appears to have been unemployed but engaged in some freelance design work on occasion and dominating these entries is his dependency on alcohol and multiple prescription drugs, chiefly Dexamyl, though also including Eskatrol, Hyptran, and Ritalin. A raw primary glimpse at one individual’s experience with prescription drug abuse in the 1970’s amid the pharmaceutical industry’s reckless advance, under cover of law, into a consumer market void created by the Nixon administration’s War on street drugs (1971) and formation of the DEA (1973) .A sampling of page transcriptions:January 5, 1975:“I get VERY ANTAGONISTIC when I drink too much & that’s just what happened. I stormed out of Dorothy’s around 12:00 and drove to the apartment. […] At the apartment I gave Jim a really hard time. We ended up talking until 5:00 in the morning. Most of the latter I remember but the next day he told me the happenings earlier in the night and I didn’t remember it all. He felt upset about it and so did I. […] If there is one good thing to come out of it, it might be this: Jim has had times where his being loaded has been a problem. Now maybe he doesn’t feel as guilty. If so, that’s a good thing.”January 10, 1975:“One night I thought about Nish & ended up writing (in my mind) all that I remember about her. It would be some great story. Dorothy thinks I should do it. WHEN I TAKE A HYPTRAN, THE REMEMBERANCES JUST POUR OUT!” March 1, 1975:“Took an Eskatrol+. Felt higher & higher. […] 12 hour high all the way to 3:00 in the morning. THE GREATEST. Captivated: She made candlelight steak dinner. Did the steak in the outdoor grill. Later we watched the “Black Dahlia” murder (from 1946) with Lucy Arnez. Then continued on into the night. Felt great! The best. Drank sensibly. Some Tom Collin’s strung out & the good stuff “Gibey’s” so no head next day. Also Hyptran to insure sleep. I slept!”March 5, 1975:“A terribly tough day. Maybe from last night’s gin but more probably lack of sleep. NO ENERY. MENTALLY DOWN. Got through the day without doing much of anything. Dorothy understanding. We did puzzle or two. She went shopping. We had a few Lord Calvert’s later. Helped some but not much. One of those “if I can just make it to bed” times. Dorothy was very understanding and told me too take it easy, which I did. Neck and head tired. THINKING ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. DIFFICULT!”March 6, 1975:“At apartment all day. Didn’t sleep too well. Still feel absolutely devoid of energy. Listened to tapes & radio. Nothing else all day. Finally took 1 ½ Dexamyl. Felt a little better. To Jim’s station & finished polising left side of hood on Corvette & front emblem. Took picture of Jim & Cindy. She had bicycle stolen a few days ago (in front of station). THE DEXAMYL SURE DOES HELP!”March 26, 1975:“Got letter off to Dr. Alcott hoping he can get me some Dexamyl. I HOPE! If not, I GOT BIG TROUBLE!!!!” March 28, 1975:“Dorothy has had real bout. No energy. Very down because she didn’t feel better fast enough. Admitted her “drive” drops to nothing too. She’s experiencing conditions I have to contend with too damn often. She appreciated the help today & I enjoyed being able too help her conserve some energy. FEELING NO ENERGY TAKES THE JOY OUT OF DOING ANYTHING! That’s for sure.” April 2, 1975:“A bad night. Not much sleep. Two times in the last week I’ve really had a VERY tough time breathing. TO HAVE TO EXERT AS MUCH EFFORT WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY EXHAUSTED IS A SCARY THING. In bed all day. Listened to tape. Tried to nap & did a little. Made TV chow mein dinner. Not much of anything else. AWFULLY TIRED. When I’m that tired, I really wonder how I can keep going & keep up with any sort of “active” life. Maybe I can’t.”April 3, 1975:“Another day by myself at the apartment. I did take a Hyptran to sleep & it helped a lot (only a few left.)”April 4, 1975:“A good day at apartment. RELAXED. Did a lot of small things. […] Feel more RESTED now. Eed that! FEEL MORE LIKE MYSELF!!!! Looking forward to trip home. I miss family. I EED TO GET FEELING MORE SATISFIED WITH MYSELF & NNOT FEEL UNSURE & UPSET SO MUCH. The feeling of whatever I do being “nothing” is devastating sometimes. Feel good that Dorothy is on the mend & feeling better. I’ll do the same. Lately I haven’t been feeling anything about anything.” April 5, 1975:“DOROTHY AND I PLANNED TO GET OFF BY OURSELVES! Long discussion about Dorrie & friends. WE DIDN’T. Home by 11:00. FELT TIRED FROM NOT SLEEPING. WASTED DEXAMYL & ESKATROL IN ANTICIPATION OF TONIGHT. I HATE TO WASTE WHAT’S ALMOST GONE. NOT MUCH EFFECT & STUPID TO ANTICIPATE. In future I should wait till we really can get off together.” May 2, 1975:“Felt like death warmed over & looked it. Feel I can face DEATH or INSANITY NOW! Boy, was that sick! Unable too think or do anything. Felt terribly down & physically beat. Thought I wouldn’t take anything. But I chanced it. D cap. Felt better after ALMOST GOING TO SLEEP. MAYBE IT’S THE SEDATIVE PART OF THE DEXAMYL THAT DOES MORE FOR ME THAN THE UPPER PART (30mg former, 10mg latter) One 5mg tab. Picked up a little. Did wash. IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO CALL DOROTHY AND TELL HER I LOVED HER.”May 24, 1975:“Didn’t sleep all night long. Took Dexamyl in wee hours & after falling asleep for short time, felt better. THE DEXAMYL MAKES A GREAT DIFFERENCE. Relaxed. Write out complete list of bank accounts for Ma & I at dining room table. Felt good. I DREAD NNO HAVING THE OPTION TO TAKE A DEXAMYL WHEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES CALL FOR IT.” June 15, 1975:“Finally got to talk to Dr. Alcott about need for Dexamyl. IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE. He dropped me off at 106 & said he’d see me before I left. A GOOD FRIEND.”June 18, 1975:“DR. ALCOTT WILL HELP ME OUT!”August 17, 1975:“The first I’ve written since July 13th. My life has really fallen apart. Am going to start getting it back together starting with GOAL SETTING.” August 21, 1975:“Went in pool. Scraped some algae. Nice dinner. Dorothy in pool with me in late afternoon. Decided to play checkers later, watch some TV. […] Dorothy & I off to her room. She won checkers (2-TIE-1). Off by ourselves for a while til 1:30. NO ANDRES. NO DRINKS. 1 ESKATROL + 1 DEXAMYL tab. Great time & relaxed. DON’T NEED TO DRINK. It’s caused too much trouble. But I do need a boost.” August 28, 1975:“Sent in quarterly IRS payment ($68.00). 1 RITALIN TODAY (20mg.). A subtle boost.” August 31, 1975:“Had a few Coors then across to apt. Jim & I had some arguments. He said he was going to get his own place. Everything cooled. […] I GET SCRAPPY WHEN I DRINK EVEN A LITTLE. It’s getting worse. I shouldn’t drink at all. I’ve cut it down to just about nothing.” September 8, 1975:“Jim out & drinking. In about 9:00. Loaded. Kicked all his trophies apart. Owes me nothing. I’m just tired of trying & trying & getting damn little in return, not even peace of mind. He holds it against me that I have money. I’m a waste!!! But who the hell does for me. NOBODY!!! I’m sick of people & trying to please. It doesn’t mean a thing. To bed early. […] Jim going to NY. Wanted me to ADVANCE the money. No rent! No way!! This is nuts! Having something in back of me gets me nothing but disdain. Everyone spends their money on themselves but I’m supposed to be a universal benefactor. I don’t NEED. I’m just supposed too GIVE. To hell with it.”

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